Friday, August 16, 2019
Amnesia – Memory Loss
Amnesia: Memory Loss Outline Thesis: Amnesia is a condition involving memory loss, which can cause people to lose their ability to memorize information and/or could cause people to be unable to recall information. I. General amnesia A. Types of amnesia 1. Anterograde 2. Retrograde B. Symptoms II. Causes of amnesia III. Diagnoses C. How to determine D. Treatments IV. Prevention of amnesia Amnesia: Memory Loss Memory loss can be associated with many different conditions in todayââ¬â¢s medical fields such as amnesia, Alzheimerââ¬â¢s disease, different forms of dementia, depression, or even a brain tumor.These conditions have similarities yet differences to define each one as a different illness. Amnesia is a well-known condition that is associated with memory loss in todayââ¬â¢s medical world, which can cause people to lose their ability to memorize information and could cause people to be unable to recall familiar material. Amnesia comes in various forms of memory loss; the tw o most frequently seen forms of this are anterograde amnesia and retrograde amnesia. Anterograde amnesia is when the brain gets damaged and new information after the incident cannot be stored.The patient that has had this happen to him can remember aspects of life that has happened before the incident (Nordqvist 2). New information that is gained after the occurrence cannot be stored. The International Encyclopedia of Rehabilitation describes this condition: Anterograde amnesia refers to a deficit in encoding new information subsequent to a given and specific event in time, for instance trauma due to an accident or the onset of brain damage. Consequently, new information cannot be or is partially retained by the individual, which leads to a learning disorder.This type of amnesia can be partial (some of the information is forgotten), and often underlies the individual's subjective complaints; or total, and is therefore characterized by the individual's inability to recall daily life activities or progressive loss of information (1). Retrograde amnesia is contrary to anterograde amnesia. After a traumatic event, the individual cannot remember certain things that happened before it took place but can normally remember anything that takes place after the incident.The degree of how much that can be remembered before the incident all depends on the amount of damage to the brain (de Guise 1). Amnesia comes with diverse symptoms. The two main symptoms are ââ¬Å"impaired ability to learn new information following the onset of amnesiaâ⬠and ââ¬Å"impaired ability to recall past event and previously familiar informationâ⬠(Mayo Clinic Staff 2). Other signs consist of confusion, disorientation, false recollections, uncoordinated movements, inability to identify the current president, and many others.Any head injury that causes any of these symptoms could be a sign of amnesia. The brain is a complex operating system that controls the body. The brain also contro ls memory. Damage from ââ¬Å"accidents, encephalitis, or conditions that interrupt blood supply from the brainâ⬠can result in amnesia (Thompson and Madigan 119). Additional causes of amnesia can be but are not limited to such things as stroke, lack of oxygen to the brain, long-term alcohol abuse, and brain tumors. Lenore Terr, a clinical professor of psychiatry, states that a very common cause of retrograde amnesia is a concussion (67).Amnesia can also come about from emotional shock. This dissociative amnesia can be associated with being a victim of a crime, sexual abuse, child abuse, combat, and any other ââ¬Å"intolerable life situation, which causes severe psychological stress and internal conflictâ⬠(Nordqvist 6). When a person thinks that he has amnesia, he should take several steps to determine what it is and what should be done about it. The first step is to seek help from a doctor. An appointment should be made to determine what the patientââ¬â¢s symptoms ar e indicating.In most cases, the patient takes a family member with them to their appointment to be able to help answer questions that the patient may not know or remember. At the appointment the doctor is very likely to ask questions such as ââ¬Å"Were you involved in any trauma? â⬠, ââ¬Å"When did you first notice your memory loss? â⬠, and ââ¬Å"Does anything help to improve your memory? â⬠(Mayo Clinic Staff 5). The doctor will do an evaluation to dismiss other possible causes of memory loss like Alzheimerââ¬â¢s disease, dementia, depression, or a brain tumor (Mayo Clinic Staff 5-6).Harvey S. Levin, Ph. D. , Vincent M. Oââ¬â¢Donnell, M. A. , and Robert G. Grossman, M. D. developed an amnesia test of their own. This test consists of 15 questions. For each question the patient gets wrong, a number is deduced in the error score column. After all questions are completed, the doctor adds up the error score column and subtracts it from 100. Scores that range from 100-76 strengthens that the patient is normal, 75-66 implies the patient is borderline amnesia, and anything below 66 confirms the patient is impaired.Another exam that will be done is a physical exam. This will test reflexes, balance, and other components that deal with the brain or nervous system. It may be necessary to do imaging tests as well to look at the brain. This could include an MRI, a CT scan, or an EEG scan. These tests will determine if there is any physical damage to the brain or identify if something is abnormal about it. Once amnesia is diagnosed there are few things to be done to help the patient. Medical News Today states that in most cases amnesia resolves itself without treatment (8).Even though there are no current drugs to help the restoration of memory, different types of therapy may help to reestablish recollections. These can include psychotherapy, hypnosis, and occupational therapy. Some people are turning to technology for assistance; PDAââ¬â¢s or oth er hand held devices are helping patients to remember their everyday tasks more easily. The most important factors to treating amnesia is family support. Families can help ââ¬Å"nudge patients back into their environmentâ⬠if they are surrounded by familiar objects and people (Nordqvist 8).Amnesia can be prevented if the right precautions are taken. Any damage to the brain can cause amnesia, so a person needs to take any step they can to protect it. For instance, wearing a helmet while riding a bike will shield the brain from any injury in case there is a blow to the head. Avoiding excessive alcohol use is another precaution (Mayo Clinic Staff 8). Another great preventative measure to take is to make sure to treat any infection quickly (Mayo Clinic Staff 8). By doing this it will secure the infection from being able to spread to the brain.Protecting the brain in any form that is possible is the best prevention of amnesia. Memory loss is a very serious condition that can come i n many different forms including amnesia. A sign of amnesia is when people lose their ability to memorize information and are unable to recall facts. Even though there is no medical drugs to treat this condition as of now, the importance of seeking help from a medical expert to confirm if it is amnesia or not is very high. With other forms of treatments available, this condition could be reversed or fixed with a coping method.The brain controls every part of our body in some form or another. Protection of the brain is the key essential to preventing amnesia due to it controlling oneââ¬â¢s memory. If taking care of the brain and shielding it can prevent amnesia, why would someone not take the proper steps to do so? Works Cited de Guise, Elaine. 2012. Amnesia. In: JH Stone, M Blouin, editors. International Encyclopedia of Rehabilitation. Web. Levin, Harvey S. , Vincent M. O'Donnell, and Robert G. Grossman. ââ¬Å"The Galveston Orientation and Amnesia Test. â⬠UTMB Health | The University of Texas Medical Branch | UTMB. du. N. p. , n. d. Web. 29 Sept. 2012. Mayo Clinic Staff. ââ¬Å"Amnesia ââ¬â MayoClinic. com. â⬠Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic, 11 Oct. 2011. Web. 29 Sept. 2012. Nordqvist, Christian. ââ¬Å"What Is Amnesia? What Causes Amnesia?. â⬠Medical News Today. MediLexicon, Intl. , 14 Jul. 2009. Web. Terr, Lenore. Unchained memories: true stories of traumatic memories, lost and found. New York, N. Y. : Basic Books, 1994. Print. Thompson, Richard F. , and Stephen A. Madigan. Memory: the key to consciousness. Washington, D. C. : Joseph Henry Press, 2005. Print.
Thursday, August 15, 2019
English Macbeth Essay
In this essay, Iââ¬â¢m going to be comparing the presentation of Lady Macbeth in Act 1 Scene 5 with the filmed stage performance of the same scene by the Royal Shakespearean production, directed by Sir Trevor Nunn and with Dame Judi Dench in the role of Lady Macbeth. In the Shakespearean play, Shakespeare gives little indication to the characters how to play the character when and where to move and how to say their lines. The readers have to make their own interpretation. There background was just black so was the costumes it was really plain and and economically cheap.However from the film we expected fancy costumes we imagined Lady Macbeth wearing an old fashioned dress we pictured her hair to be brown and we thought she would be much younger. In the film we expected her to be in her bedroom, as well as on some main lines such as ââ¬ËHie thee hither ââ¬Ëand ââ¬Ëcome you spiritsââ¬â¢ we thought there might be powerful sound effects. In the letter scene we expected LM to be very different. In the play she starts reading the letter half way. However in the film, she starts with ââ¬ËHail king that shalt be,' this shows us that she has read the letter before and she knows what the letter says. Hail King that shalt be' was repeated twice in the film this allows the audience to think she is obsessive about Macbeth becoming king and already she has ideas about killing the king. She reads the letter at a fast pace but, when she comes across the supernatural in the letter she stops and looks around this shows that she is very interested about the supernatural. In the play we expected her to be happy while reading ââ¬Ëmy dearest partner of greatness' the word ââ¬Ëpartner sounds very businesslike as well as it emphasises her love and affection towards Macbeth.However in the actual film she read it really casually it did not affect her. In the play we expected her to read the letter while she is in her bedroom however in the film she was pacing up and down as well as the background was plain black and she was wearing a black dress the colour black may represent the supernatural and the evil side of her. This enhances Nunn's interpretation of her as a fourth witch. In the first soliloquy after the letter Lady Macbeth says ââ¬Ë Shalt be what thou art promised' this quote shows that she is determined and really wants Macbeth to become the king.As well as in the play she says ââ¬Ëtoo full o'th' milk of human kindnessesââ¬â¢ this gives the reader an impression that she knows her husband really well and she uses the word ââ¬Ëmilkââ¬â¢ for his pureness and kindness. ââ¬â¢ Further on in the soliloquy Lady Macbeth uses the line ââ¬ËHie Thee Hither! ââ¬â¢ I expected her to shout that out because there is an exclamation mark at the end of the quote this indicated me that she was shouting. As well as the exclamation mark represents her excitement for the supernatural.I imagined the lights being off and maybe have the sound of a storm, I also thought she might be on her knees begging and talking through the window I expected her to have a voice similar to a witch. From the play it seemed like she is calling the evil spirits that quote proves that she is really evil and she wants the murder to happen. However in the film she had really effective eye contact, the camera zoomed in on her face to allow the audience to see that she is thinking really deeply. Her eyes were moving around (searching) she had an evil brief smile.When she said ââ¬ËHie Thee Hitherââ¬â¢ in the film she seemed very calm and took in a deep breath she seemed relieved and relaxed. In her second soliloquy, Lady Macbeth begins to reveal her true self. It seems that she will go through anything to persuade Macbeth to kill the king. Many critics argue that she appears to be the fourth witch. In the play Lady Macbeth talks directly to the spirits. In the quote ââ¬Ëcome you spirits. Murdering ministers ââ¬Ëthis leaves the readers thinking that she is praying to the evil spirits. By saying ââ¬Ëcomeââ¬â¢ she uses verbs to call upon the supernatural.The quote ââ¬Ëunder my battlementsââ¬â¢ tells us that Lady Macbeth intends to bear the knife herself this is the first time she openly talks about murdering Duncan. In the play Lady Macbeth asks the evil spirits to ââ¬Ëunsex herââ¬â¢ she wants to get rid of her feminine identity, compassion and her humanity. She also says ââ¬Ëdirest crueltyââ¬â¢ itââ¬â¢s a male characteristics this shows that she wants her femininity to be take away from her due to the fact that she wants to commit the murder however a male should take on that role in this case her husband Macbeth.By asking the evil spirits to take her ââ¬Ëmilk for gallââ¬â¢ she is sacrificing her womanhood and identity for her husband Macbeth. The word ââ¬Ëmilkââ¬â¢ is used as an extended metaphor for womanhood. At the end of her second soliloquy she says ââ¬Ëth at my keen knife see not the wound it makesââ¬â¢ suggests that she has to be the one that commits the murder. In the film when Lady Macbeth talks about the raven on half of her face there is light on the other half is dark. The light represents the good in her and the dark represents the evil and the ââ¬ËRavenââ¬â¢ is Duncan.In the film her eyes are darkened this may indicate that the evil spirits are near her. In the film she actually casts a spell. Before she starts calling the spirits there is a dramatic pause this shows that Lady Macbeth is composing herself she does a 360 turn that indicates a warning to the audience. Lady Macbeth bows down when she starts calling the spirits she looks very fearful. She whispers everything that she says and her hand starts trembling this may be a sign showing us that the evil spirit is trying to get into her. She says ââ¬Ëcrueltyââ¬â¢ in a very high pitched voice.Lady Macbeth runs into the darkness this allows the audience to thi nk that she is possessed and she canââ¬â¢t take the pain or she seen something fearful. The darkness may show her soul transfer. The darkness in her represents the witch side of her. From the darkness she comes back slowly as the fourth witch with a new identity. In the film when she says ââ¬Ëmurdering ministersââ¬â¢ you can see a possession in her. At the end of her second soliloquy when she says ââ¬ËHold! Hold! ââ¬â¢ someone else is controlling her arms she seems physically accessible.When Macbeth enters, Lady Macbeth demonstrates rhetoric, linguistic abilities. Lady Macbeth uses her femininity to persuade Macbeth. In the play Lady Macbeth greets her husband by saying ââ¬ËGreat Glamis! Worthy Cawdor! ââ¬â¢ she is certainly determined for him. In the play we expect them to be very close to each other because they havenââ¬â¢t seen each other for a while. Lady Macbeth says ââ¬Ëshall sun that morrow see! ââ¬â¢ The ââ¬Ësunââ¬â¢ represents light in th is case it is Duncan. 6 syllables dramatic pause, shocked moment both of them think about the murder.We expected Lady Macbeth to use her sexuality while trying to help him overcome his weaknesses. There is paradox between the serpent and the flower. When she says ââ¬Ëserpent underââ¬â¢tââ¬â¢ we expect her to be harsh and forceful towards him. Lady Macbeth takes control and for the first time she mentions the murder to him ââ¬ËThis nightââ¬â¢s great business into my dispatch. ââ¬â¢ She is trying to tell him that she is capable of committing the murder, she also might of said that because she wants him to become like her evil.In the phrase ââ¬ËWhich shall to all our nights and days to comeââ¬â¢ she is trying to say that she is doing all this for both of them however we know she is doing it for herself (selfish. ) ââ¬ËWe will speak no moreââ¬â¢ ellipsis represents her interruption. At the end she says ââ¬ËLeave all the rest to meââ¬â¢ this allows the readers to think that she has hardly been listening to him and treats him like a child she is not really interested in what he says because she knows what he is going to say and she knows she is going to get it her way.In the film when Macbeth enters she is on her knees paying him respect. When Macbeth enters there is light the light represents goodness (Macbeth), paradox of light and dark. She runs to him hugs and kisses him passionately. This shows that they are in love and it emphasises their closeness. They continue to kiss through out, Lady Macbeth uses her femininity and sexuality to persuade Macbeth to kill Duncan. When she says ââ¬Ëshall sun that morrow seeââ¬â¢ she removes herself from him and looks deeply into his eyes.She emphasises on the words ââ¬Ëserpentââ¬â¢ and ââ¬Ëmy dispatchââ¬â¢ When she says ââ¬Ëmy dispatchââ¬â¢ she looks into his eyes trying to tell him that she is doing it for him. In the film she is very sexual towards him. Macbeth is almost hypnotised by her sexual passion and desire heââ¬â¢s almost forgot about everything because he is blinded by her love. She interrupts him and she speaks quickly to avoid him speaking further. Lady Macbeth smiles briefly this shows she was successful. In the film when she says ââ¬Ëleave all the rest to meââ¬â¢ thereââ¬â¢s darkness on her face, telling the audience she is up to something.
Wednesday, August 14, 2019
The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 2. Open Book
I leaned back against the soft snow bank, letting the dry powder reshape itself around my weight. My skin had cooled to match the air around me, and the tiny pieces of ice felt like velvet under my skin. The sky above me was clear, brilliant with stars, glowing blue in some places, yellow in others. The stars created majestic, swirling shapes against the black universe ââ¬â an awesome sight. Exquisitely beautiful. Or rather, it should have been exquisite. Would have been, if I'd been able to really see it. It wasn't getting any better. Six days had passed, six days I'd hidden here in the empty Denali wilderness, but I was no closer to freedom than I had been since the first moment that I'd caught her scent. When I stared up at the jeweled sky, it was as if there were an obstruction between my eyes and their beauty. The obstruction was a face, just an unremarkable human face, but I couldn't quite seem to banish it from my mind. I heard the approaching thoughts before I heard the footsteps that accompanied them. The sound of movement was only a faint whisper against the powder. I was not surprised that Tanya had followed me here. I knew she'd been mulling over this coming conversation for the last few days, putting it off until she was sure of exactly what she wanted to say. She sprang into sight about sixty yards away, leaping onto the tip of an outcropping of black rock and balancing there on the balls of her bare feet. Tanya's skin was silver in the starlight, and her long blond curls shone pale, almost pink with their strawberry tint. Her amber eyes glinted as she spied me, halfburied in the snow, and her full lips stretched slowly into a smile. Exquisite. If I'd really been able to see her. I sighed. She crouched down on the point of the stone, her fingertips touching the rock, her body coiled. Cannonball, she thought. She launched herself into the air; her shape became a dark, twisting shadow as she spun gracefully between me and the stars. She curled herself into a ball just as she struck the piled snow bank beside me. A blizzard of snow flew up around me. The stars went black and I was buried deep in the feathery ice crystals. I sighed again, but didn't move to unearth myself. The blackness under the snow neither hurt nor improved the view. I still saw the same face. ââ¬Å"Edward?â⬠Then snow was flying again as Tanya swiftly disinterred me. She brushed the powder from my unmoving face, not quite meeting my eyes. ââ¬Å"Sorry,â⬠she murmured. ââ¬Å"It was a joke.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know. It was funny.â⬠Her mouth twisted down. ââ¬Å"Irina and Kate said I should leave you alone. They think I'm annoying you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Not at all,â⬠I assured her. ââ¬Å"On the contrary, I'm the one who's being rude ââ¬â abominably rude. I'm very sorry.â⬠You're going home, aren't you? she thought. ââ¬Å"I haven'tâ⬠¦entirelyâ⬠¦decided that yet.â⬠But you're not staying here. Her thought was wistful now, sad. ââ¬Å"No. It doesn't seem to beâ⬠¦helping.â⬠She grimaced. ââ¬Å"That's my fault, isn't it?â⬠ââ¬Å"Of course not,â⬠I lied smoothly. Don't be a gentleman. I smiled. I make you uncomfortable, she accused. ââ¬Å"No.â⬠She raised one eyebrow, her expression so disbelieving that I had to laugh. One short laugh, followed by another sigh. ââ¬Å"All right,â⬠I admitted. ââ¬Å"A little bit.â⬠She sighed, too, and put her chin in her hands. Her thoughts were chagrined. ââ¬Å"You're a thousand times lovelier than the stars, Tanya. Of course, you're already well aware of that. Don't let my stubbornness undermine your confidence.â⬠I chuckled at the unlikeliness of that. ââ¬Å"I'm not used to rejection,â⬠she grumbled, her lower lip pushing out into an attractive pout. ââ¬Å"Certainly not,â⬠I agreed, trying with little success to block out her thoughts as she fleetingly sifted through memories of her thousands of successful conquests. Mostly Tanya preferred human men ââ¬â they were much more populous for one thing, with the added advantage of being soft and warm. And always eager, definitely. ââ¬Å"Succubus,â⬠I teased, hoping to interrupt the images flickering in her head. She grinned, flashing her teeth. ââ¬Å"The original.â⬠Unlike Carlisle, Tanya and her sisters had discovered their consciences slowly. In the end, it was their fondness for human men that turned the sisters against the slaughter. Now the men they lovedâ⬠¦lived. ââ¬Å"When you showed up here,â⬠Tanya said slowly. ââ¬Å"I thought thatâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I'd known what she'd thought. And I should have guessed that she would have felt that way. But I hadn't been at my best for analytical thinking in that moment. ââ¬Å"You thought that I'd changed my mind.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes.â⬠She scowled. ââ¬Å"I feel horrible for toying with your expectations, Tanya. I didn't mean to ââ¬â I wasn't thinking. It's just that I left inâ⬠¦quite a hurry.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't suppose you'd tell me whyâ⬠¦?â⬠I sat up and wrapped my arms around my legs, curling defensively. ââ¬Å"I don't want to talk about it.â⬠Tanya, Irina and Kate were very good at this life they'd committed to. Better, in some ways, than even Carlisle. Despite the insanely close proximity they allowed themselves with those who should be ââ¬â and once were ââ¬â their prey, they did not make mistakes. I was too ashamed to admit my weakness to Tanya. ââ¬Å"Woman troubles?â⬠she guessed, ignoring my reluctance. I laughed a bleak laugh. ââ¬Å"Not the way you mean it.â⬠She was quiet then. I listened to her thoughts as she ran through different guesses, tried to decipher the meaning of my words. ââ¬Å"You're not even close,â⬠I told her. ââ¬Å"One hint?â⬠she asked. ââ¬Å"Please let it go, Tanya.â⬠She was quiet again, still speculating. I ignored her, trying in vain to appreciate the stars. She gave up after a silent moment, and her thoughts pursued a new direction. Where will you go, Edward, if you leave? Back to Carlisle? ââ¬Å"I don't think so,â⬠I whispered. Where would I go? I could not think of one place on the entire planet that held any interest for me. There was nothing I wanted to see or do. Because, no matter where I went, I would not be going to anywhere ââ¬â I would only be running from. I hated that. When had I become such a coward? Tanya threw her slender arm around my shoulders. I stiffened, but did not flinch out from under her touch. She meant it as nothing more than friendly comfort. Mostly. ââ¬Å"I think that you will go back,â⬠she said, her voice taking on just a hint of her long lost Russian accent. ââ¬Å"No matter what it isâ⬠¦or who it isâ⬠¦that is haunting you. You'll face it head on. You're the type.â⬠Her thoughts were as certain as her words. I tried to embrace the vision of myself that she carried in her head. The one who faced things head on. It was pleasant to think of myself that way again. I'd never doubted my courage, my ability to face difficulty, before that horrible hour in a high school biology class such a short time ago. I kissed her cheek, pulling back swiftly when she twisted her face toward mine, her lips already puckered. She smiled ruefully at my quickness. ââ¬Å"Thank you, Tanya. I needed to hear that.â⬠Her thoughts turned petulant. ââ¬Å"You're welcome, I guess. I wish you would be more reasonable about things, Edward.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm sorry, Tanya. You know you're too good for me. I justâ⬠¦haven't found what I'm looking for yet.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, if you leave before I see you againâ⬠¦goodbye, Edward.â⬠ââ¬Å"Goodbye, Tanya.â⬠As I said the words, I could see it. I could see myself leaving. Being strong enough to go back to the one place where I wanted to be. ââ¬Å"Thanks again.â⬠She was on her feet in one nimble move, and then she was running away, ghosting across the snow so quickly that her feet had no time to sink into the snow; she left no prints behind her. She didn't look back. My rejection bothered her more than she'd let on before, even in her thoughts. She wouldn't want to see me again before I left. My mouth twisted with chagrin. I didn't like hurting Tanya, though her feelings were not deep, hardly pure, and, in any case, not something I could return. It still made me feel less than a gentleman. I put my chin on my knees and stared up at the stars again, though I was suddenly anxious to be on my way. I knew that Alice would see me coming home, that she would tell the others. This would make them happy ââ¬â Carlisle and Esme especially. But I gazed at the stars for one more moment, trying to see past the face in my head. Between me and the brilliant lights in the sky, a pair of bewildered chocolate-brown eyes stared back at me, seeming to ask what this decision would mean for her. Of course, I couldn't be sure if that was really the information her curious eyes sought. Even in my imagination, I couldn't hear her thoughts. Bella Swan's eyes continued to question, and an unobstructed view of the stars continued to elude me. With a heavy sigh, I gave up, and got to my feet. If I ran, I would be back to Carlisle's car in less than an hourâ⬠¦ In a hurry to see my family ââ¬â and wanting very much to be the Edward that faced things head on ââ¬â I raced across the starlit snowfield, leaving no footprints. ââ¬Å"It's going to be okay,â⬠Alice breathed. Her eyes were unfocused, and Jasper had one hand lightly under her elbow, guiding her forward as we walked into the rundown cafeteria in a close group. Rosalie and Emmett led the way, Emmett looking ridiculously like a bodyguard in the middle of hostile territory. Rose looked wary, too, but much more irritated than protective. ââ¬Å"Of course it is,â⬠I grumbled. Their behavior was ludicrous. If I wasn't positive that I could handle this moment, I would have stayed home. The sudden shift from our normal, even playful morning ââ¬â it had snowed in the night, and Emmett and Jasper were not above taking advantage of my distraction to bombard me with slushballs; when they got bored with my lack of response, they'd turned on each other ââ¬â to this overdone vigilance would have been comical if it weren't so irritating. ââ¬Å"She's not here yet, but the way she's going to come inâ⬠¦she won't be downwind if we sit in our regular spot.â⬠ââ¬Å"Of course we'll sit in our regular spot. Stop it, Alice. You're getting on my nerves. I'll be absolutely fine.â⬠She blinked once as Jasper helped her into her seat, and her eyes finally focused on my face. ââ¬Å"Hmm,â⬠she said, sounding surprised. ââ¬Å"I think you're right.â⬠ââ¬Å"Of course I am,â⬠I muttered. I hated being the focus of their concern. I felt a sudden sympathy for Jasper, remembering all the times we'd hovered protectively over him. He met my glance briefly, and grinned. Annoying, isn't it? I grimaced at him. Was it just last week that this long, drab room had seemed so killingly dull to me? That it had seemed almost like sleep, like a coma, to be here? Today my nerves were stretched tight ââ¬â piano wires, tensed to sing at the lightest pressure. My senses were hyper-alert; I scanned every sound, every sight, every movement of the air that touched my skin, every thought. Especially the thoughts. There was only one sense that I kept locked down, refused to use. Smell, of course. I didn't breathe. I was expecting to hear more about the Cullens in the thoughts that I sifted through. All day I'd been waiting, searching for whichever new acquaintance Bella Swan might have confided in, trying to see the direction the new gossip would take. But there was nothing. No one noticed the five vampires in the cafeteria, just the same as before the new girl had come. Several of the humans here were still thinking of that girl, still thinking the same thoughts from last week. Instead of finding this unutterably boring, I was now fascinated. Had she said nothing to anyone about me? There was no way that she had not noticed my black, murderous glare. I had seen her react to it. Surely, I'd scared her silly. I had been convinced that she would have mentioned it to someone, maybe even exaggerated the story a bit to make it better. Given me a few menacing lines. And then, she'd also heard me trying to get out of our shared biology class. She must have wondered, after seeing my expression, whether she were the cause. A normal girl would have asked around, compared her experience to others, looked for common ground that would explain my behavior so she didn't feel singled out. Humans were constantly desperate to feel normal, to fit in. To blend in with everyone else around them, like a featureless flock of sheep. The need was particularly strong during the insecure adolescent years. This girl would be no exception to that rule. But no one at all took any notice of us sitting here, at our normal table. Bella must be exceptionally shy, if she'd confided in no one. Perhaps she had spoken to her father, maybe that was the strongest relationshipâ⬠¦though that seemed unlikely, given the fact that she had spent so little time with him throughout her life. She would be closer to her mother. Still, I would have to pass by Chief Swan sometime soon and listen to what he was thinking. ââ¬Å"Anything new?â⬠Jasper asked. ââ¬Å"Nothing. Sheâ⬠¦must not have said anything.â⬠All of them raised an eyebrow at this news. ââ¬Å"Maybe you're not as scary as you think you are,â⬠Emmett said, chuckling. ââ¬Å"I bet I could have frightened her better than that.â⬠I rolled my eyes at him. ââ¬Å"Wonder whyâ⬠¦?â⬠He puzzled again over my revelation about the girl's unique silence. ââ¬Å"We've been over that. I don't know.â⬠ââ¬Å"She's coming in,â⬠Alice murmured then. I felt my body go rigid. ââ¬Å"Try to look human.â⬠ââ¬Å"Human, you say?â⬠Emmett asked. He held up his right fist, twisting his fingers to reveal the snowball he'd saved in his palm. Of course it had not melted there. He'd squeezed it into a lumpy block of ice. He had his eyes on Jasper, but I saw the direction of his thoughts. So did Alice, of course. When he abruptly hurled the ice chunk at her, she flicked it away with a casual flutter of her fingers. The ice ricocheted across the length of the cafeteria, too fast to be visible to human eyes, and shattered with a sharp crack against the brick wall. The brick cracked, too. The heads in that corner of the room all turned to stare at the pile of broken ice on the floor, and then swiveled to find the culprit. They didn't look further than a few tables away. No one looked at us. ââ¬Å"Very human, Emmett,â⬠Rosalie said scathingly. ââ¬Å"Why don't you punch through the wall while you're at it?â⬠ââ¬Å"It would look more impressive if you did it, baby.â⬠I tried to pay attention to them, keeping a grin fixed on my face like I was part of their banter. I did not allow myself to look toward the line where I knew she was standing. But that was all that I was listening to. I could hear Jessica's impatience with the new girl, who seemed to be distracted, too, standing motionless in the moving line. I saw, in Jessica's thoughts, that Bella Swan's cheeks were once more colored bright pink with blood. I pulled in short, shallow breaths, ready to quit breathing if any hint of her scent touched the air near me. Mike Newton was with the two girls. I heard both his voices, mental and verbal, when he asked Jessica what was wrong with the Swan girl. I didn't like the way his thoughts wrapped around her, the flicker of already established fantasies that clouded his mind while he watched her start and look up from her reverie like she'd forgotten he was there. ââ¬Å"Nothing,â⬠I heard Bella say in that quiet, clear voice. It seemed to ring like a bell over the babble in the cafeteria, but I knew that was just because I was listening for it so intently. ââ¬Å"I'll just get a soda today,â⬠she continued as she moved to catch up with the line. I couldn't help flickering one glance in her direction. She was staring at the floor, the blood slowly fading from her face. I looked away quickly, to Emmett, who laughed at the now pained-looking smile on my face. You look sick, bro. I rearranged my features so the expression would seem casual and effortless. Jessica was wondering aloud about the girl's lack of appetite. ââ¬Å"Aren't you hungry?â⬠ââ¬Å"Actually, I feel a little sick.â⬠Her voice was lower, but still very clear. Why did it bother me, the protective concern that suddenly emanated from Mike Newton's thoughts? What did it matter that there was a possessive edge to them? It wasn't my business if Mike Newton felt unnecessarily anxious for her. Perhaps this was the way everyone responded to her. Hadn't I wanted, instinctively, to protect her, too? Before I'd wanted to kill her, that isâ⬠¦ But was the girl ill? It was hard to judge ââ¬â she looked so delicate with her translucent skinâ⬠¦ Then I realized that I was worrying, too, just like that dimwitted boy, and I forced myself not to think about her health. Regardless, I didn't like monitoring her through Mike's thoughts. I switched to Jessica's, watching carefully as the three of them chose which table to sit at. Fortunately, they sat with Jessica's usual companions, at one of the first tables in the room. Not downwind, just as Alice had promised. Alice elbowed me. She's going to look soon, act human. I clenched my teeth behind my grin. ââ¬Å"Ease up, Edward,â⬠Emmett said. ââ¬Å"Honestly. So you kill one human. That's hardly the end of the world.â⬠ââ¬Å"You would know,â⬠I murmured. Emmett laughed. ââ¬Å"You've got to learn to get over things. Like I do. Eternity is a long time to wallow in guilt.â⬠Just then, Alice tossed a smaller handful of ice that she'd been hiding into Emmett's unsuspecting face. He blinked, surprised, and then grinned in anticipation. ââ¬Å"You asked for it,â⬠he said as he leaned across the table and shook his iceencrusted hair in her direction. The snow, melting in the warm room, flew out from his hair in a thick shower of half-liquid, half-ice. ââ¬Å"Ew!â⬠Rose complained, as she and Alice recoiled from the deluge. Alice laughed, and we all joined in. I could see in Alice's head how she'd orchestrated this perfect moment, and I knew that the girl ââ¬â I should stop thinking of her that way, as if she were the only girl in the world ââ¬â that Bella would be watching us laugh and play, looking as happy and human and unrealistically ideal as a Norman Rockwell painting. Alice kept laughing, and held her tray up as a shield. The girl ââ¬â Bella must still be staring at us. â⬠¦staring at the Cullens again, someone thought, catching my attention. I looked automatically toward the unintentional call, realizing as my eyes found their destination that I recognized the voice ââ¬â I'd been listening to it so much today. But my eyes slid right past Jessica, and focused on the girl's penetrating gaze. She looked down quickly, hiding behind her thick hair again. What was she thinking? The frustration seemed to be getting more acute as time went on, rather than dulling. I tried ââ¬â uncertain in what I was doing for I'd never tried this before ââ¬â to probe with my mind at the silence around her. My extra hearing had always come to me naturally, without asking; I'd never had to work at it. But I concentrated now, trying to break through whatever shield surrounded her. Nothing but silence. What is it about her? Jessica thought, echoing my own frustration. ââ¬Å"Edward Cullen is staring at you,â⬠she whispered in the Swan girl's ear, adding a giggle. There was no hint of her jealous irritation in her tone. Jessica seemed to be skilled at feigning friendship. I listened, too engrossed, to the girl's response. ââ¬Å"He doesn't look angry, does he?â⬠she whispered back. So she had noticed my wild reaction last week. Of course she had. The question confused Jessica. I saw my own face in her thoughts as she checked my expression, but I did not meet her glance. I was still concentrating on the girl, trying to hear something. My intent focus didn't seem to be helping at all. ââ¬Å"No,â⬠Jess told her, and I knew that she wished she could say yes ââ¬â how it rankled inside her, my staring ââ¬â though there was no trace of that in her voice. ââ¬Å"Should he be?â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't think he likes me,â⬠the girl whispered back, laying her head down on her arm as if she were suddenly tired. I tried to understand the motion, but I could only make guesses. Maybe she was tired. ââ¬Å"The Cullens don't like anybody,â⬠Jess reassured her. ââ¬Å"Well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them.â⬠They never used to. Her thought was a grumble of complaint. ââ¬Å"But he's still staring at you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Stop looking at him,â⬠the girl said anxiously, lifting her head from her arm to make sure Jessica obeyed the order. Jessica giggled, but did as she was asked. The girl did not look away from her table for the rest of the hour. I thought ââ¬â though, of course, I could not be sure ââ¬â that this was deliberate. It seemed like she wanted to look at me. Her body would shift slightly in my direction, her chin would begin to turn, and then she would catch herself, take a deep breath, and stare fixedly at whoever was speaking. I ignored the other thoughts around the girl for the most part, as they were not, momentarily, about her. Mike Newton was planning a snow fight in the parking lot after school, not seeming to realize that the snow had already shifted to rain. The flutter of soft flakes against the roof had become the more common patter of raindrops. Could he really not hear the change? It seemed loud to me. When the lunch period ended, I stayed in my seat. The humans filed out, and I caught myself trying to distinguish the sound of her footsteps from the sound of the rest, as if there was something important or unusual about them. How stupid. My family made no move to leave, either. They waited to see what I would do. Would I go to class, sit beside the girl where I could smell the absurdly potent scent of her blood and feel the warmth of her pulse in the air on my skin? Was I strong enough for that? Or had I had enough for one day? ââ¬Å"Iâ⬠¦think it's okay,â⬠Alice said, hesitant. ââ¬Å"Your mind is set. I think you'll make it through the hour.â⬠But Alice knew well how quickly a mind could change. ââ¬Å"Why push it, Edward?â⬠Jasper asked. Though he didn't want to feel smug that I was the one who was weak now, I could hear that he did, just a little. ââ¬Å"Go home. Take it slow.â⬠ââ¬Å"What's the big deal?â⬠Emmett disagreed. ââ¬Å"Either he will or he won't kill her. Might as well get it over with, either way.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't want to move yet,â⬠Rosalie complained. ââ¬Å"I don't want to start over. We're almost out of high school, Emmett. Finally.â⬠I was evenly torn on the decision. I wanted, wanted badly, to face this head on rather than running away again. But I didn't want to push myself too far, either. It had been a mistake last week for Jasper to go so long without hunting; was this just as pointless a mistake? I didn't want to uproot my family. None of them would thank me for that. But I wanted to go to my biology class. I realized that I wanted to see her face again. That's what decided it for me. That curiosity. I was angry with myself for feeling it. Hadn't I promised myself that I wouldn't let the silence of the girl's mind make me unduly interested in her? And yet, here I was, most unduly interested. I wanted to know what she was thinking. Her mind was closed, but her eyes were very open. Perhaps I could read them instead. ââ¬Å"No, Rose, I think it really will be okay,â⬠Alice said. ââ¬Å"It'sâ⬠¦firming up. I'm ninety-three percent sure that nothing bad will happen if he goes to class.â⬠She looked at me inquisitively, wondering what had changed in my thoughts that made her vision of the future more secure. Would curiosity be enough to keep Bella Swan alive? Emmett was right, though ââ¬â why not get it over with, either way? I would face the temptation head on. ââ¬Å"Go to class,â⬠I ordered, pushing away from the table. I turned and strode away from them without looking back. I could hear Alice's worry, Jasper's censure, Emmett's approval, and Rosalie's irritation trailing after me. I took one last deep breath at the door of the classroom, and then held it in my lungs as I walked into the small, warm space. I was not late. Mr. Banner was still setting up for today's lab. The girl sat at my ââ¬â at our table, her face down again, staring at the folder she was doodling on. I examined the sketch as I approached, interested in even this trivial creation of her mind, but it was meaningless. Just a random scribbling of loops within loops. Perhaps she was not concentrating on the pattern, but thinking of something else? I pulled my chair back with unnecessary roughness, letting it scrape across the linoleum; humans always felt more comfortable when noise announced someone's approach. I knew she heard the sound; she did not look up, but her hand missed a loop in the design she was drawing, making it unbalanced. Why didn't she look up? Probably she was frightened. I must be sure to leave her with a different impression this time. Make her think she'd been imagining things before. ââ¬Å"Hello,â⬠I said in the quiet voice I used when I wanted to make humans more comfortable, forming a polite smile with my lips that would not show any teeth. She looked up then, her wide brown eyes startled ââ¬â almost bewildered ââ¬â and full of silent questions. It was the same expression that had been obstructing my vision for the last week. As I stared into those oddly deep brown eyes, I realized that the hate ââ¬â the hate I'd imagined this girl somehow deserved for simply existing ââ¬â had evaporated. Not breathing now, not tasting her scent, it was hard to believe that anyone so vulnerable could ever justify hatred. Her cheeks began to flush, and she said nothing. I kept my eyes on hers, focusing only on their questioning depths, and tried to ignore the appetizing color of her skin. I had enough breath to speak for a while longer without inhaling. ââ¬Å"My name is Edward Cullen,â⬠I said, though I knew she knew that. It was the polite way to begin. ââ¬Å"I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan.â⬠She seemed confused ââ¬â there was that little pucker between her eyes again. It took her half a second longer than it should have for her to respond. ââ¬Å"How do you know my name?â⬠she demanded, and her voice shook just a little. I must have truly terrified her. This made me feel guilty; she was just so defenseless. I laughed gently ââ¬â it was a sound that I knew made humans more at ease. Again, I was careful about my teeth. ââ¬Å"Oh, I think everyone knows your name.â⬠Surely she must have realized that she'd become the center of attention in this monotonous place. ââ¬Å"The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive.â⬠She frowned as if this information was unpleasant. I supposed, being shy as she seemed to be, attention would seem like a bad thing to her. Most humans felt the opposite. Though they didn't want to stand out from the herd, at the same time they craved a spotlight for their individual uniformity. ââ¬Å"No,â⬠she said. ââ¬Å"I meant, why did you call me Bella?â⬠ââ¬Å"Do you prefer Isabella?â⬠I asked, perplexed by the fact that I couldn't see where this question was leading. I didn't understand. Surely, she'd made her preference clear many times that first day. Were all humans this incomprehensible without the mental context as a guide? ââ¬Å"No, I like Bella,â⬠she answered, leaning her head slightly to one side. Her expression ââ¬â if I was reading it correctly ââ¬â was torn between embarrassment and confusion. ââ¬Å"But I think Charlie ââ¬â I mean my dad ââ¬â must call me Isabella behind my back. That's what everyone here seems to know me as.â⬠Her skin darkened one shade pinker. ââ¬Å"Oh,â⬠I said lamely, and quickly looked away from her face. I'd just realized what her questions meant: I had slipped up ââ¬â made an error. If I hadn't been eavesdropping on all the others that first day, then I would have addressed her initially by her full name, just like everyone else. She'd noticed the difference. I felt a pang of unease. It was very quick of her to pick up on my slip. Quite astute, especially for someone who was supposed to be terrified by my nearness. But I had bigger problems than whatever suspicions about me she might be keeping locked inside her head. I was out of air. If I were going to speak to her again, I would have to inhale. It would be hard to avoid speaking. Unfortunately for her, sharing this table made her my lab partner, and we would have to work together today. It would seem odd ââ¬â and incomprehensibly rude ââ¬â for me to ignore her while we did the lab. It would make her more suspicious, more afraidâ⬠¦ I leaned as far away from her as I could without moving my seat, twisting my head out into the aisle. I braced myself, locking my muscles in place, and then sucked in one quick chest-full of air, breathing through my mouth alone. Ahh! It was genuinely painful. Even without smelling her, I could taste her on my tongue. My throat was suddenly in flames again, the craving every bit as strong as that first moment I'd caught her scent last week. I gritted my teeth together and tried to compose myself. ââ¬Å"Get started,â⬠Mr. Banner commanded. It felt like it took every single ounce of self-control that I'd achieved in seventy years of hard work to turn back to the girl, who was staring down at the table, and smile. ââ¬Å"Ladies first, partner?â⬠I offered. She looked up at my expression and her face went blank, her eyes wide. Was there something off in my expression? Was she frightened again? She didn't speak. ââ¬Å"Or, I could start, if you wish,â⬠I said quietly. ââ¬Å"No,â⬠she said, and her face went from white to red again. ââ¬Å"I'll go first.â⬠I stared at the equipment on the table, the battered microscope, the box of slides, rather than watch the blood swirl under her clear skin. I took another quick breath, through my teeth, and winced as the taste made my throat ache. ââ¬Å"Prophase,â⬠she said after a quick examination. She started to remove the slide, though she'd barely examined it. ââ¬Å"Do you mind if I look?â⬠Instinctively ââ¬â stupidly, as if I were one of her kind ââ¬â I reached out to stop her hand from removing the slide. For one second, the heat of her skin burned into mine. It was like an electric pulse ââ¬â surely much hotter than a mere ninety-eight point six degrees. The heat shot through my hand and up my arm. She yanked her hand out from under mine. ââ¬Å"I'm sorry,â⬠I muttered through my clenched teeth. Needing somewhere to look, I grasped the microscope and stared briefly into the eyepiece. She was right. ââ¬Å"Prophase,â⬠I agreed. I was still too unsettled to look at her. Breathing as quietly as I could through my gritted teeth and trying to ignore the fiery thirst, I concentrated on the simple assignment, writing the word on the appropriate line on the lab sheet, and then switching out the first slide for the next. What was she thinking now? What had that felt like to her, when I had touched her hand? My skin must have been ice cold ââ¬â repulsive. No wonder she was so quiet. I glanced at the slide. ââ¬Å"Anaphase,â⬠I said to myself as I wrote it on the second line. ââ¬Å"May I?â⬠she asked. I looked up at her, surprised to see that she was waiting expectantly, one hand half-stretched toward the microscope. She didn't look afraid. Did she really think I'd gotten the answer wrong? I couldn't help but smile at the hopeful look on her face as I slid the microscope toward her. She stared into the eyepiece with an eagerness that quickly faded. The corners of her mouth turned down. ââ¬Å"Slide three?â⬠she asked, not looking up from the microscope, but holding out her hand. I dropped the next slide into her hand, not letting my skin come anywhere close to hers this time. Sitting beside her was like sitting next to a heat lamp. I could feel myself warming slightly to the higher temperature. She did not look at the slide for long. ââ¬Å"Interphase,â⬠she said nonchalantly ââ¬â perhaps trying a little too hard to sound that way ââ¬â and pushed the microscope to me. She did not touch the paper, but waited for me to write the answer. I checked ââ¬â she was correct again. We finished this way, speaking one word at a time and never meeting each other's eyes. We were the only ones done ââ¬â the others in the class were having a harder time with the lab. Mike Newton seemed to be having trouble concentrating ââ¬â he was trying to watch Bella and me. Wish he'd stayed wherever he went, Mike thought, eyeing me sulfurously. Hmm, interesting. I hadn't realized the boy harbored any ill will towards me. This was a new development, about as recent as the girl's arrival it seemed. Even more interesting, I found ââ¬â to my surprise ââ¬â that the feeling was mutual. I looked down at the girl again, bemused by the wide range of havoc and upheaval that, despite her ordinary, unthreatening appearance, she was wreaking on my life. It wasn't that I couldn't see what Mike was going on about. She was actually rather prettyâ⬠¦in an unusual way. Better than being beautiful, her face was interesting. Not quite symmetrical ââ¬â her narrow chin out of balance with her wide cheekbones; extreme in the coloring ââ¬â the light and dark contrast of her skin and her hair; and then there were the eyes, brimming over with silent secretsâ⬠¦ Eyes that were suddenly boring into mine. I stared back at her, trying to guess even one of those secrets. ââ¬Å"Did you get contacts?â⬠she asked abruptly. What a strange question. ââ¬Å"No.â⬠I almost smiled at the idea of improving my eyesight. ââ¬Å"Oh,â⬠she mumbled. ââ¬Å"I thought there was something different about your eyes.â⬠I felt suddenly colder again as I realized that I was apparently not the only one attempting to ferret out secrets today. I shrugged, my shoulders stiff, and glared straight ahead to where the teacher was making his rounds. Of course there was something different about my eyes since the last time she'd stared into them. To prepare myself for today's ordeal, today's temptation, I'd spent the entire weekend hunting, satiating my thirst as much as possible, overdoing it really. I'd glutted myself on the blood of animals, not that it made much difference in the face of the outrageous flavor floating on the air around her. When I'd glared at her last, my eyes had been black with thirst. Now, my body swimming with blood, my eyes were a warmer gold. Light amber from my excessive attempt at thirst-quenching. Another slip. If I'd seen what she'd meant with her question, I could have just told her yes. I'd sat beside humans for two years now at this school, and she was the first to examine me closely enough to note the change in my eye color. The others, while admiring the beauty of my family, tended to look down quickly when we returned their stares. They shied away, blocking the details of our appearances in an instinctive endeavor to keep themselves from understanding. Ignorance was bliss to the human mind. Why did it have to be this girl who would see too much? Mr. Banner approached our table. I gratefully inhaled the gush of clean air he brought with him before it could mix with her scent. ââ¬Å"So, Edward,â⬠he said, looking over our answers, ââ¬Å"didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?â⬠ââ¬Å"Bella,â⬠I corrected him reflexively. ââ¬Å"Actually, she identified three of the five.â⬠Mr. Banner's thoughts were skeptical as he turned to look at the girl. ââ¬Å"Have you done this lab before?â⬠I watched, engrossed, as she smiled, looking slightly embarrassed. ââ¬Å"Not with onion root.â⬠ââ¬Å"Whitefish blastula?â⬠Mr. Banner probed. ââ¬Å"Yeah.â⬠This surprised him. Today's lab was something he'd pulled from a more advanced course. He nodded thoughtfully at the girl. ââ¬Å"Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes.â⬠She was advanced then, intelligent for a human. This did not surprise me. ââ¬Å"Well,â⬠Mr. Banner said, pursing his lips. ââ¬Å"I guess it's good you two are lab partners.â⬠He turned and walked away mumbling, ââ¬Å"So the other kids can get a chance to learn something for themselves,â⬠under his breath. I doubted the girl could hear that. She began scrawling loops across her folder again. Two slips so far in one half hour. A very poor showing on my part. Though I had no idea at all what the girl thought of me ââ¬â how much did she fear, how much did she suspect? ââ¬â I knew I needed to put forth a better effort to leave her with a new impression of me. Something to better drown her memories of our ferocious last encounter. ââ¬Å"It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?â⬠I said, repeating the small talk that I'd heard a dozen students discuss already. A boring, standard topic of conversation. The weather ââ¬â always safe. She stared at me with obvious doubt in her eyes ââ¬â an abnormal reaction to my very normal words. ââ¬Å"Not really,â⬠she said, surprising me again. I tried to steer the conversation back to trite paths. She was from a much brighter, warmer place ââ¬â her skin seemed to reflect that somehow, despite its fairness ââ¬â and the cold must make her uncomfortable. My icy touch certainly hadâ⬠¦ ââ¬Å"You don't like the cold,â⬠I guessed. ââ¬Å"Or the wet,â⬠she agreed. ââ¬Å"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live.â⬠Perhaps you should not have come here, I wanted to add. Perhaps you should go back where you belong. I wasn't sure I wanted that, though. I would always remember the scent of her blood ââ¬â was there any guarantee that I wouldn't eventually follow after her? Besides, if she left, her mind would forever remain a mystery. A constant, nagging puzzle. ââ¬Å"You have no idea,â⬠she said in a low voice, glowering past me for a moment. Her answers were never what I expected. They made me want to ask more questions. ââ¬Å"Why did you come here, then?â⬠I demanded, realizing instantly that my tone was too accusatory, not casual enough for the conversation. The question sounded rude, prying. ââ¬Å"It'sâ⬠¦complicated.â⬠She blinked her wide eyes, leaving it at that, and I nearly imploded out of curiosity ââ¬â the curiosity burned as hot as the thirst in my throat. Actually, I found that it was getting slightly easier to breathe; the agony was becoming more bearable through familiarity. ââ¬Å"I think I can keep up,â⬠I insisted. Perhaps common courtesy would keep her answering my questions as long as I was rude enough to ask them. She stared down silently at her hands. This made me impatient; I wanted to put my hand under her chin and tilt her head up so that I could read her eyes. But it would be foolish of me ââ¬â dangerous ââ¬â to touch her skin again. She looked up suddenly. It was a relief to be able to see the emotions in her eyes again. She spoke in a rush, hurrying through the words. ââ¬Å"My mother got remarried.â⬠Ah, this was human enough, easy to understand. Sadness passed through her clear eyes and brought the pucker back between them. ââ¬Å"That doesn't sound so complex,â⬠I said. My voice was gentle without my working to make it that way. Her sadness left me feeling oddly helpless, wishing there was something I could do to make her feel better. A strange impulse. ââ¬Å"When did that happen?â⬠ââ¬Å"Last September.â⬠She exhaled heavily ââ¬â not quite a sigh. I held my breath as her warm breath brushed my face. ââ¬Å"And you don't like him,â⬠I guessed, fishing for more information. ââ¬Å"No, Phil is fine,â⬠she said, correcting my assumption. There was a hint of a smile now around the corners of her full lips. ââ¬Å"Too young, maybe, but nice enough.â⬠This didn't fit with the scenario I'd been constructing in my head. ââ¬Å"Why didn't you stay with them?â⬠I asked, my voice a little too curious. It sounded like I was being nosy. Which I was, admittedly. ââ¬Å"Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living.â⬠The little smile grew more pronounced; this career choice amused her. I smiled, too, without choosing to. I wasn't trying to make her feel at ease. Her smile just made me want to smile in response ââ¬â to be in on the secret. ââ¬Å"Have I heard of him?â⬠I ran through the rosters of professional ball players in my head, wondering which Phil was hersâ⬠¦ ââ¬Å"Probably not. He doesn't play well.â⬠Another smile. ââ¬Å"Strictly minor league. He moves around a lot.â⬠The rosters in my head shifted instantly, and I'd tabulated a list of possibilities in less than a second. At the same time, I was imagining the new scenario. ââ¬Å"And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him,â⬠I said. Making assumptions seemed to get more information out of her than questions did. It worked again. Her chin jutted out, and her expression was suddenly stubborn. ââ¬Å"No, she did not send me here,â⬠she said, and her voice had a new, hard edge to it. My assumption had upset her, though I couldn't quite see how. ââ¬Å"I sent myself.â⬠I could not guess at her meaning, or the source behind her pique. I was entirely lost. So I gave up. There was just no making sense of the girl. She wasn't like other humans. Maybe the silence of her thoughts and the perfume of her scent were not the only unusual things about her. ââ¬Å"I don't understand,â⬠I admitted, hating to concede. She sighed, and stared into my eyes for longer than most normal humans were able to stand. ââ¬Å"She stayed with me at first, but she missed him,â⬠she explained slowly, her tone growing more forlorn with each word. ââ¬Å"It made her unhappyâ⬠¦so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie.â⬠The tiny pucker between her eyes deepened. ââ¬Å"But now you're unhappy,â⬠I murmured. I couldn't seem to stop speaking my hypotheses aloud, hoping to learn from her reactions. This one, however, did not seem as far off the mark. ââ¬Å"And?â⬠she said, as if this was not even an aspect to be considered. I continued to stare into her eyes, feeling that I'd finally gotten my first real glimpse into her soul. I saw in that one word where she ranked herself among her own priorities. Unlike most humans, her own needs were far down the list. She was selfless. As I saw this, the mystery of the person hiding inside this quiet mind began to thin a little. ââ¬Å"That doesn't seem fair,â⬠I said. I shrugged, trying to seem casual, trying to conceal the intensity of my curiosity. She laughed, but there was no amusement the sound. ââ¬Å"Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair.â⬠I wanted to laugh at her words, though I, too, felt no real amusement. I knew a little something about the unfairness of life. ââ¬Å"I believe I have heard that somewhere before.â⬠She stared back at me, seeming confused again. Her eyes flickered away, and then came back to mine. ââ¬Å"So that's all,â⬠she told me. But I was not ready to let this conversation end. The little V between her eyes, a remnant of her sorrow, bothered me. I wanted to smooth it away with my fingertip. But, of course, I could not touch her. It was unsafe in so many ways. ââ¬Å"You put on a good show.â⬠I spoke slowly, still considering this next hypothesis. ââ¬Å"But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see.â⬠She made a face, her eyes narrowing and her mouth twisting into a lopsided pout, and she looked back towards the front of the class. She didn't like it when I guessed right. She wasn't the average martyr ââ¬â she didn't want an audience to her pain. ââ¬Å"Am I wrong?â⬠She flinched slightly, but otherwise pretended not to hear me. That made me smile. ââ¬Å"I didn't think so.â⬠ââ¬Å"Why does it matter to you?â⬠she demanded, still staring away. ââ¬Å"That's a very good question,â⬠I admitted, more to myself than to answer her. Her discernment was better than mine ââ¬â she saw right to the core of things while I floundered around the edges, sifting blindly through clues. The details of her very human life should not matter to me. It was wrong for me to care what she thought. Beyond protecting my family from suspicion, human thoughts were not significant. I was not used to being the less intuitive of any pairing. I relied on my extra hearing too much ââ¬â I clearly was not as perceptive as I gave myself credit for. The girl sighed and glowered toward the front of the classroom. Something about her frustrated expression was humorous. The whole situation, the whole conversation was humorous. No one had ever been in more danger from me than this little girl ââ¬â at any moment I might, distracted by my ridiculous absorption in the conversation, inhale through my nose and attack her before I could stop myself ââ¬â and she was irritated because I hadn't answered her question. ââ¬Å"Am I annoying you?â⬠I asked, smiling at the absurdity of it all. She glanced at me quickly, and then her eyes seemed to get trapped by my gaze. ââ¬Å"Not exactly,â⬠she told me. ââ¬Å"I'm more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read ââ¬â my mother always calls me her open book.â⬠She frowned, disgruntled. I stared at her in amazement. The reason she was upset was because she thought I saw through her too easily. How bizarre. I'd never expended so much effort to understand someone in all my life ââ¬â or rather existence, as life was hardly the right word. I did not truly have a life. ââ¬Å"On the contrary,â⬠I disagreed, feeling strangelyâ⬠¦wary, as if there were some hidden danger here that I was failing to see. I was suddenly on edge, the premonition making me anxious. ââ¬Å"I find you very difficult to read.â⬠ââ¬Å"You must be a good reader then,â⬠she guessed, making her own assumption that was, again, right on target. ââ¬Å"Usually,â⬠I agreed. I smiled at her widely then, letting my lips pull back to expose the rows of gleaming, razor sharp teeth behind them. It was a stupid thing to do, but I was abruptly, unexpectedly desperate to get some kind of warning through to the girl. Her body was closer to me than before, having shifted unconsciously in the course of our conversation. All the little markers and signs that were sufficient to scare off the rest of humanity did not seem to be working on her. Why did she not cringe away from me in terror? Surely she had seen enough of my darker side to realize the danger, intuitive as she seemed to be. I didn't get to see if my warning had the intended effect. Mr. Banner called for the class's attention just then, and she turned away from me at once. She seemed a little relieved for the interruption, so maybe she understood unconsciously. I hoped she did. I recognized the fascination growing inside me, even as I tried to root it out. I could not afford to find Bella Swan interesting. Or rather, she could not afford that. Already, I was anxious for another chance to talk to her. I wanted to know more about her mother, her life before she came here, her relationship with her father. All the meaningless details that would flesh out her character further. But every second I spent with her was a mistake, a risk she shouldn't have to take. Absentmindedly, she tossed her thick hair just at the moment that I allowed myself another breath. A particularly concentrated wave of her scent hit the back of my throat. It was like the first day ââ¬â like the wrecking ball. The pain of the burning dryness made me dizzy. I had to grasp the table again to keep myself in my seat. This time I had slightly more control. I didn't break anything, at least. The monster growled inside me, but took no pleasure in my pain. He was too tightly bound. For the moment. I stopped breathing altogether, and leaned as far from the girl as I could. No, I could not afford to find her fascinating. The more interesting I found her, the more likely it was that I would kill her. I'd already made two minor slips today. Would I make a third, one that was not minor? As soon as the bell sounded, I fled from the classroom ââ¬â probably destroying whatever impression of politeness I'd halfway constructed in the course of the hour. Again, I gasped at the clean, wet air outside like it was a healing attar. I hurried to put as much distance between myself and the girl as was possible. Emmett waited for me outside the door of our Spanish class. He read my wild expression for a moment. How did it go? he wondered warily. ââ¬Å"Nobody died,â⬠I mumbled. I guess that's something. When I saw Alice ditching there at the end, I thoughtâ⬠¦ As we walked into the classroom, I saw his memory from just a few moments ago, seen through the open door of his last class: Alice walking briskly and blank-faced across the grounds toward the science building. I felt his remembered urge to get up and join her, and then his decision to stay. If Alice needed his help, she would askâ⬠¦ I closed my eyes in horror and disgust as I slumped into my seat. ââ¬Å"I hadn't realized that it was that close. I didn't think I was going toâ⬠¦I didn't see that it was that bad,â⬠I whispered. It wasn't, he reassured me. Nobody died, right? ââ¬Å"Right,â⬠I said through my teeth. ââ¬Å"Not this time.â⬠Maybe it will get easier. ââ¬Å"Sure.â⬠Or, maybe you kill her. He shrugged. You wouldn't be the first one to mess up. No one would judge you too harshly. Sometimes a person just smells too good. I'm impressed you've lasted this long. ââ¬Å"Not helping, Emmett.â⬠I was revolted by his acceptance of the idea that I would kill the girl, that this was somehow inevitable. Was it her fault that she smelled so good? I know when it happened to meâ⬠¦, he reminisced, taking me back with him half a century, to a country lane at dusk, where a middle-aged women was taking her dried sheets down from a line strung between apple trees. The scent of apples hung heavy in the air ââ¬â the harvest was over and the rejected fruits were scattered on the ground, the bruises in their skin leaking their fragrance out in thick clouds. A fresh-mowed field of hay was a background to that scent, a harmony. He walked up the lane, all.
Tuesday, August 13, 2019
Naming, Taxonomy, Classification of viruses Essay
Naming, Taxonomy, Classification of viruses - Essay Example Other examples of pathogens include the nematodes, fungi and bacteria. In Biology, the term nomenclature is used to refer to the naming the various taxonomic groups as per the international conventions. When it comes to the naming of viruses, there is a special body tasked with this responsibility. It is called the International Committee on Taxonomy of Viruses (ICTV), (formerly known as the International Committee on the Nomenclature of Viruses) which was established in 1966. It is the committee of the Virology Division of the International Union of Microbiological Societies. Unlike the nomenclature of other living organisms, viruses are not named with respect to Carolus Linnaeusââ¬â¢ Latinized binomial system. They are named by use of words of English origin new international taxonomic names this is according to the International Committee on Taxonomy of Viruses, R. I. B. Francki (1991). Rule No. 10 ââ¬â rules pertaining the spelling of names with respect to the language used are outlined in Section 6 of Chapter 3 of the proposed viral nomenclature. This is as per the minutes of the meeting held in Moscow in 1966, Rule No. 13 - where agreed upon, the symbols may come after an abbreviation of a Latin name of a given host genus of a particular host, but if need be, a full name instead of the abbreviation may still be used, When it comes to the taxonomy of viruses, which is the classification of viruses into various taxonomic groups, the International Committee n Taxonomy of Viruses came up with a unified taxonomy. The classification system makes use of the below ranked taxons; The current list from the International Committee on Taxonomy of Viruses (ICTV) indicates that there are three (3) viral orders namely; Caudovirales ââ¬â these are the tailed double stranded deoxyribonucleic acid (dsDNA) phages, Mononegavirales ââ¬â these are the ones having enveloped globular virons bearing similar single stranded negative ribonucleic acid (ss (-) RNA) genomes and
Monday, August 12, 2019
Ordinary Courage Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1250 words - 1
Ordinary Courage - Essay Example The army was originally created on June 14, 1775, and most of the Continental Army was disbanded on November 3, 1783 after the treaty of Paris. A small residual force continued at West Point and some other frontier outposts, until Congress created the United States Army by their resolution of June 3, 1784. Joseph Plumb Martin truly and personally understood how difficult the soldierââ¬â¢s life was. After joining the militia himself in 1776 at 16 years old Joseph Plumb Martin served in the Continental Army, and in 1830 wrote a memoir which presented a truthful portrait of war, about the traversing of the mid-Atlantic colonies, from Connecticut over to Pennsylvania and down through Delaware with his compatriots, and describing what the war was like from the point of view of an ordinary person. Joseph Plumb Martin (1760-1850), it should be noted, was a mere Private in the army, and his account does not involve the usual heroes of the Revolution. Joseph Plumb Martinââ¬â¢s opinion of the leadership of the Continental Army is somewhat negative, in that he did not feel the leaders held very idealistic concepts concerning the war. However he tells that he respected them in that he found them to be brave and courageous, as he thought everyone who had participation in (that) war was; that it was their strength and perseverance which held the men strong. So although he did believe they were a quintessential part in the leading, fighting, and success of the war, I believe that he also somewhat felt negatively towards them. Martin felt that they were ââ¬Å"â⬠¦very austereâ⬠¦and kept us constantly employed day and night; there was no chance of escaping fromâ⬠¦theirâ⬠¦vigilance.â⬠(p.24). Martin describes of the suffering that was experienced by himself and his fellow men, as he names ââ¬ËFatigue, hunger, and coldââ¬â¢ as constant companions to these raggedy soldiers. He also recalls that whenever the leaves and
Sunday, August 11, 2019
Market target paper Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words
Market target paper - Essay Example In addition, LA is also the focal point of the Los Angeles-Long Beach-Riverside, which has cumulative population of over 18 million approximately estimated in 2009 (US Census, 2010). It should be highlighted that the larger the population in a city, the great the derived needs / demand and the greater the market size. In addition, the per capita income across Los Angeles city is nearly $55,000 as estimated in 2010 (Beacon Economics, 2010). The major suppliers of watches to JBR collections will be international corporations with well known brands such as Replica, Rolex, Casio, Citizen, Armani, Adidas, Orient, Omega, Franck Muller, Rado, Raymond Weil, Seiko etc. For instance, the non-branded local and imported watches from India and China of medium to high quality will be offered at budget prices to attract customers from different social classes. The watches will be marketed to both male and female customers within the age bracket of 16 - 65 years. 2. Target Market The actual target m arket of JBR Collections is elite, upper ââ¬â middle and middle ââ¬â middle class groups because Los Angeles is a city of well-established rich consumers with an average annual income of $55,000 in 2009 ââ¬â 2010 (Beacon Economics, 2010). Indeed, highly expensive elitist branded watches will be targeted to income groups having on average $70,000 and above per annum. The relatively high priced and affordable brands will be observed to middle ââ¬â middle customers with an income range of $45,000 ââ¬â 70,000 per annum. Finally, the low priced budget watches, local and imported, will be for lower ââ¬â middle customers with an income of $20,000 ââ¬â 30,000. 3. Product Indeed, it should be highlighted that the US economy is recovering from recession; therefore, new business opportunities have been created that could be utilized prudently to maximize financial gains. The products will be wristwatches, wall clocks and time pieces that are heavily demanded by indi viduals, households and businesses because a watch is a genuine need of a human being, thus having relatively inelastic demand. 4. Competition The value proposition of JBR will be ââ¬Å"Premium watch collections at competitive pricesâ⬠. Indeed, the showroom will be opened in well established City Shopping Center, which enjoys a strong customer base. For instance, the showroom will face intense competition with other watch showrooms located in LA in shopping malls such as Beverly Center Shopping Mall, Rodeo Drive, Two Rodeo, Century City Shopping Center and Westside Pavilion (LA Tourist Guide, 2011). Shops located in unorganized smaller markets will also give competition to JBR Collections. The only strategy to ensure business survival is to adopt penetration pricing strategies in first few months of operations because low introductory prices will help attracting many potential customers to JBR Collections. 5. Mission Statement To offer valued customers of Los Angeles City the high priced premium quality watch brands as well as budget price watches at affordable prices and to create value through meeting consumersââ¬â¢ watches demand and maintaining quality standards through strict control and after-sales-services. 6. Market Strategies 6.1 - Price JBR Collections has planned to use promotional pricing strategy in first three months after official inauguration of its new showroom. The reason behind it is the fact that it would like to attract maximum customers in first few mon
The Trusted Traveler Program Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words
The Trusted Traveler Program - Essay Example The ââ¬Å"Trusted Traveler" program in essence was made to facilitate the frequent flyers that could include all the business entrepreneurs, government officials and employees as well as other selected individuals who could get their easy way off as regards to airport security checks. The Trusted Traveler program is undoubtedly a good idea when we literally think about it in the first go, but it is also a source of problems on the part of the security people who are present at the airports and are responsible for everything as they are at the helm of affairs when we talk about security and its long checks. This program can have its disadvantages if say for instance a terrorist gets hold of a Trusted Traveler card, would he or she still be unstoppable. The same goes true if he or she is carrying some explosives or weapons on board, would the person be allowed to board the flight? There are serious questions that can be posed with respect to the Trusted Traveler program. The ââ¬Å"Trusted Travelerâ⬠program is in the process of being studied thoroughly by the American Senate and would soon, hopefully is put into practice so that American flyers could get extra privileges when they think of security and ease of actions at the airport and within the flights. The reason why this program has not been approved as yet owes to the fact that there are a number of glitches and loopholes through which terrorists and criminals can run off scotch free, thus delaying the whole process. Once these problems are addressed in the broader context of the airline security and with meticulous attention paid to the ease of the passengers, this program would pretty surely be in place for one and all to enjoy and witness at the airports, in the coming times. As regards to passenger authentication, it usually entails the corroboration of passenger ID, which includes from his beginning as a passenger is transited through the airport and
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)